Through My Eyes
“You like this cock don’t you? Tell me you like it bitch.” A deep voice shouted from inside the room.
“Yes, I do love this cock.” My mum moaned back
**Door Creaks Open**
“Who’s this little kid?” The voice sharply said.
“Daniel shut the fucking door and go to bed,” She said in shock.
That was the first time I saw what mummy did, at the time I was 10 years old. Things changed drastically ever since my dad died in a car crash 2 years ago as well as mummy losing my baby sister before she was born due to depression. I’ve just seen her change over the past years I don’t recognise her, she smokes now and brings different men home for extra cash to pay the bills. I hardly see her anymore, I’ve realised that just like my dad and baby sis my mum is dead too.
I was on my bed counting down the remaining few minutes until my 18th birthday with Jamie and Sarah they were my closest friends.
Sarah was already 18, 5’5 tall, dark skin with long natural hair. She was the smartest out of us. I had a crush on her but I would never tell her, the only person that knew was Jamie. Jamie was 19 a year older than all of us, 6’1 tall, mixed raced with blonde curly hair; he got loads of attention from the girls because of his hazel eyes.
As for me, I was 5’9, brown skin with black hair and skinny but not skinny even though I have no clue what that means but that’s what people say I am.
“Are you feeling nervous Dan?” Jamie asked as he nudged me
I shook my head whilst trying to concentrate on playing Fifa.
“It’s not everyday Fifa sometimes switch it up,” Sarah said, kissing her teeth and rolling here eyes back.
**Doors Slams Shut**
“I think your mum is home,” Jamie said.
I stood up to go check, making sure I closed my room door behind me. I’ve never told Jamie or Sarah about what goes on in my life they just know my dad died in a car crash. So them seeing my mum with different men would just eat me up inside.
“Where have you been? It’s like 15mins until my birthday and who is this prick? You can’t do this to me not on my birthday fuck no.” I shouted, as i tensed my jaw and clenched my fist.
“Wait through that door ill be with you in a second,” She said to the strange looking man.
“Now look don’t take that tone with me boy, who do you think you are? I should beat some respect into you. I was out at dinner, I didn’t forget about your birthday, I am here aren’t I?” she snapped, with vein’s surfacing on her neck as she raised her voice.
“Yes but never mind, I’m going to go sleep at Jamie’s house don’t want to interrupt you tonight,” I said then stormed off back to my room.
“Ok! Well happy early birthday, ill have money waiting for you tomorrow.” She said, whilst dragging her feet across the floor and into her room before slowly shutting the door.
I was soo angry how could she bring over a man to fuck on my birthday. My hate for her was building up each time she neglected me. I wonder at times if she even remembers that I’m her son and that we’re all that each other has left.
“Yo Jamie I’m sleeping at yours tonight yeah,” I said
“Yeah cool but what about your mum?” he asked, cautiously.
“Don’t worry about her,” I replied back. Knowing what she was getting up to was making me angrier and it started to show so I just pack a few things I needed and headed out with Sarah and Jamie.
Jamie lived on his own since he was 18 after his mum kicked him out. I still don’t know the reason why till this day but it’s not any of my business so I left it.
Now outside me, Sarah and Jamie were literally counting down to my birthday.
“Woo! 30 seconds left till you’re on my level.” Sarah shouting whilst dancing on the pavement
“You’re legal now bro haha.” Jamie laughed out loud.
“Jheeze its Midnight, Nigga I’ve made it!” I shouted at the top of my voice.
Sarah came to hug me and even gave me a kiss on the cheek, which had me wanting to jump around with joy, but I had to keep composure. We reached Sarah’s road after a few more minutes of walking. She lived 15mins away from Jamie so we kept it moving as soon as we reached her door as it started to get cold.
We had been walking for about 8mins, for some reason we saw a navy blue BMW car drive past us twice, which was very odd, but I didn’t really think much of it.
Jamie was on the phone to God knows who’s, but I knew it was a female, I don’t know how he kept them all happy but he did.
“Oi fucking dickhead!!” A deep voice came from behind us.
“Don’t turn around dan, I’ve been set up just keep walking when we reach the lamppost in front of us run and follow me,” Jamie whispered.
I couldn’t believe this was actually happening to me on my birthday of all days. I was so confused but I didn’t want it to be the last birthday I experienced. As we reached the lamppost Jamie began to run and that set me off as well. I didn’t know where I was going I was just following him. I was breathing heavily, the wind was beating against my face, and I just wanted to stop to take a breather. We had been running for almost 3mins taking left and right turns; Jamie then looked back then started to stop running.
“I think we lost them,” He said, huffing and puffing.
“What the fuck was that all about man?” I said assertively, whilst looking up and holding my waist trying to catch my breath.
“Listen I'll explain later,” He said whilst trying to catch his breath.
Jamie didn’t know but all the left and right turns he took led us right back to my house, which was annoying. However, we had no choice but to head back to mine, as it was not smart to go back to where we had come from. I wanted answers to what just happened as well.
“We’re back at mine again, we might as well stay the night here instead of yours,” I said reluctantly. This was the last place I wanted to be right now but we had no other choice.
“Yeah you’re right,” He said whilst looking behind him then left and right. You could tell he was paranoid.
Now back home I went straight to my room with Jamie, I could hear my mum’s bed shifting and knew instantly what was going on so I turned up the music so Jamie would notice.
“Chill here whilst I get a drink,” I said
My facial expression could tell a story right now. I was not happy at all I was full of rage, this is the worst birthday I could have possibly hoped for and things could only get worse I thought to myself. Now in the kitchen pouring myself ad Jamie some juice I hear my mums voice but can’t make out what she is actually saying at first until I hear her the second time.
“No, I don’t like that! Stop it!” I heard my mum scream
“Shut up you stupid bitch! suck my dick.” A husky voice demanded.
Without thinking, I picked up the knife closest to me and stormed into my mum’s room. There stood the man who had walked into the house with my mother. Only this time he was naked and grabbing my mum’s neck. Without any hesitation, as I approached him he somehow managed to knock me to the floor with his huge arms and the knife I was holding dropped.
“What you trying to kill me fool? Do you know who I am? I own your whore of a mother!” he said arrogantly in laughter.
Now having put my mum down he was focused on me. He picked me up by my neck, I was gasping for air. His hands were probably the same size as my head times two. I started to feel dizzy wondering how Jamie couldn’t hear all of this. My eye’s started to wonder and that’s when I saw his balls hanging out, that’s when I lashed out at it with my legs.
“Argh you fucking little,“ before he could finish off his sentence, I managed to regain my breath and shove the knife that I brought with me into the room into his lower back. I then watched him drop to the ground with the knife still planted in his lower back.
“What have you done!!” she screamed
“What do you think, I’ve just stopped him from hurting you and killing me!’ I shouted.
Jamie came darting out of the room; he was in shock at what he could see in front of him. I was shaking as it hit me what I had just done.
“Dress him up! Now we have to carry him to the park and drop him there.” My mum said with a nervous look about her.
I was frozen I didn’t move or respond to what she had just said. My body became cold and I started to feel nauseous.
“DO YOU WANT TO END UP IN PRISON? DRESS HIM UP, TAKE OUT THE MONEY FROM HIS WALLET AND ILL DEAL WITH THE KNIFE.” She said angrily, whilst trying to stand up and assess the situation at hand.
Her tone of voice vibrated through my body and woke me up. Jamie lent me a hand and together we managed to take the knife out, and fully clothe him as well. Mummy washed the knife and removed the fingerprints.
The only task at hand now was for us to take him from the house to the park making sure nobody saw us.
“Okay, I'll go and check if there’s anyone out there so you guys can carry the body out,” Jamie said.
My mum and I nodded; Jamie went outside to check nobody was around. He called my phone and said everything was okay, so we proceeded to carry the lifeless body outside. I wasn’t the strongest and my mum was only 5’6 so it really was a battle to drag the body out of the house let alone her room.
“Don’t stop, our future especially yours is on the line here.” She kept repeating
“We wouldn’t be in this mess if you knew how to keep your legs shut.” I murmured
“What did you say boy?” she asked ferociously
“Nothing!” I said as my heart picked up in speed.
“You think I’m proud of this? I do what I do to put food on your plate after your father died I was dumped with a whole load of debt so don’t you go and judge me.” She said with tears rolling down her cheeks.
I couldn’t understand her pain but I could see her pain through her eyes. We were still dragging the body through the alleyway. A few minutes later we reached the park where Jamie was waiting for us. We put the body on the park bench and power walked it back to the house, shutting the door and also putting the latch on it as well something that never happens in this house.
“So now what happens?” Jamie asked
“You two forget that this ever happened and go back to your normal lives that's what’s going to happen. Not a word to anyone about this.” She said whilst wiping the tears from her face.
“Agreed!” I said followed by Jamie as well.
My mum went off to her room to clean off the blood from the wooden floor. Jamie went off to sleep in my room; I went to the toilet to wash my face. I looked up at the mirror in the bathroom and I couldn’t recognise myself, felt like my innocent was gone, I was full of anger I wanted to beat the shit out of someone. Who knew turning 18 would bring so much change; is this what it means to be an adult? If so then I wonder what else is in store for me.
Now back in bed, feeling tired after tonight’s antics.
“Yo Jamie don’t forget to tell me about why you got set up in college!” I said as I drifted off to sleep
“Yeah just remind me.”
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