Sixty-Four days had gone by since our incompetent government put in place a 'lockdown'. A lockdown that was supposed to ease the emerging strain on the Nhs and of course stop the number of people dying from this fucked up disease.
My mistake was believing people would follow the rules.
Can I blame them? No, no I can't, especially when the Prime Minister is being as clear as a baby with a dummy in its mouth.
"Stay home, save lives, protect the Nhs." Echoes from my laptop and spreads through to every corner of my room. I go from laying down and facing my ceiling to sat up frustrated and restless. I shake my head violently. I pound it down again and again, but my thoughts will not dislodge themselves.
COVID-19 really came to ruin my life in 2020.
Well, not all is lost I guess...I have good health, my family is good and this girl and I are going great!
It's been eighty-seven days since I first laid eyes on her. A day I won't forget in a while but due to busy life schedule and COVID-19, we haven't been able to meet up again. Communicating, on the other hand, hasn't been an issue. We speak practically every day if not phone calls then we're messaging on WhatsApp. Thursdays she tends to be MIA due to personal reasons so I don't hear from her.
Guess what today is....Thursday! Now I have a life outside of talking to her but boredom does strike me.
I'm tired of being productive and trying to force myself to put out content on social media. At first, the thought of having all this free time to be creative was exciting, but as the days have practically merged into one another I realise it's not by force nor is it a competition to see who can do this or that.
It's okay to just rest and do nothing!
The sun giving was giving off a sense of serenity, a peace that invited itself into the soul. It was definitely time for my one hour walk and maybe to buy something whilst I was at it too.
Quarter to eight in the evening, I was on the streets of London and things felt different. The air felt clean but you could also feel the tension. People were surprisingly out, more people than I had expected to see outside. In the same breath, everyone I saw had gloves on and some sort of makeshift mask covering their face. I looked down at my own glove and protective mask and instantly started overthinking.
What scares me is being forgotten. You always have someone there, whether it's family, friends, or strangers. That's not what I mean. I'm scared that when I'm laid to rest, that time itself will forget me; that I would've lived an insignificant life surrounded by people who will be remembered as heroes. I am scared that despite all the good things I do, I'll still be no-one.
I take a seat on a nearby bench. I Inhale and exhale, trying to get rid of this built-up anxiety. I check the time on my phone, I see its well over eight o'clock! Either everyone is tired of clapping for the Nhs or I was so deep in my thoughts I didn't hear a thing. Either way, my outside adventure was done for the day. The sun gradually began to take back the light it was emitting and before you knew it darkness cloaked over us.
My phone, social media, and I...That is what my night will consist of, it's one of the consistent things in my life right now. I've been scrolling and switching apps nonstop since I got back home. Twitter, the devil's playground is where you will find all sorts of information. The latest one that struck me was the recent murder of a young black man, no older than 28. Same age as me, yet I didn't really feel a thing. The number of black killings recently has made me feel numb and desensitised.
An investigation is said to have opened for the murder of William Boateng...
I stop reading and rest my phone between my nose and my lips. I don't know why but this envokes a form of calmness in me. There's only so much negativity I can take but in a world where negativity is currently rife there is nothing to be done about it, I just stay calm, do healthy things and then everything is okay again. That is the cycle.
***Buzz Buzzz***
My phone lights up but is still balanced on my face. I remove it and check to see what notification has come through.
"Jade: Hey Nathanial are you free?"
Maybe I am God's favourite I thought to myself.
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