Tested

As much as I tried to block out the noise everyone was making, I just couldn’t. So many people were now standing on the bridge looking at me speculating what I might do next.

“Is he going to jump?” voices were relentlessly repeating.

It was a fairly nice day, but it was also windy here in San Francisco. This bridge has claimed so many lives throughout its history, I was just about to be another. I looked below me and saw how the waves were violently hitting against the bridge. All of a sudden, an overwhelming sense of fear filled my body. It sat on me like a pillow over my mouth and nose. Enough air gets by it, allowing my body to keep functioning, but it's crippling all the same.

“God, why me? Why have you let all these things happen to me?” I screamed out loud

So many things have gone wrong in my life in the past 6 months, I just don’t know what to do anymore. This seems like it will ease the pain completely, or I hope it will.

Where I’m currently standing is underneath the bridge, so there isn’t much space to maneuver without falling to your death. Death is what I wanted but I was in no hurry about it. I began to carefully adjusted body so that I could sit down at the edge of this long bridge.

Now that I was sitting down, I looked onwards to see where the oceans waves would drag my lifeless body once it had been submerged in the water.

“Excuse me, sir, can you please come back over the bridge?” A voice said, assertively. Without looking who made the comment I replied back saying, “I’m not going anywhere, in fact, the only place I am going, is into that ocean.”

“Alright then, I’m coming down there to join you,” the same voice said boldly.

“Be my guest,” I said without a care in the world.

Seconds later, a strange man was now sat next to me underneath the bridge looking out into the ocean.  He appeared to be in his mid-thirties. His hair was short but very well done. His face was perfectly carved out as if to say God created him with his bare hands. His brown skin glowed immensely; I wondered if it was coco butter that he used, as he had this chocolaty scent. 

“Haha, you’re awfully brave to actually come down here!” I said to him. I realised that I had been watching him for a few minutes so I had to come out with something.

“Yeah, well it’s my kinda my job to make sure you don’t jump,” He said softly as he looked directly into my eyes.

“Wait, your job you say?” I replied back.

“Oh yeah sorry, I’m Gabriel from the San Francisco Police Department,” He said this with a grin on his face as he showed me his badge. I couldn’t see it all too well as the sun shone brightly in our direction.

“Well sorry to say this but my mind is already made up,” I said aggressively as I turned my hand from him to look back into the ocean.

“If that’s the case, I’d just like to have a talk with you just to prepare you for the 245 feet or so drop. After a fall of four seconds, jumpers will hit the water at approximately 75 mph. That’s if we were to be technical.” Gabriel said as he looked out into the ocean, with his legs swinging out as he began whistling.

My face dropped. I had no idea that was how high I would be jumping from. All these facts that he came out with threw me off but I didn’t want to let him know it had an effect on me.

“Don’t try and scare him Gabriel, let the man do as he wishes!” A voice screamed out of nowhere.

I turned to my left to see another man also sitting beside me. How he got down here I had no idea. I didn’t hear or see him nor did any of the people watching me make any indication that another man was coming down here. When I think about it, neither did Gabriel.

“Abaddon, why are you here?” Gabriel said in a very unpleased voice.

My body began to feel uneasy, I felt very uncomfortable now that Abaddon or whatever Gabriel called him was here. He looked very menacing; his eyes were a kind of black I had never seen before. The blackness engulfed my thoughts. Stretching out in front of me like a desert, the unknown studied my fears, my courage and my knowledge. Taking provisional steps, the infinite exposure of the human flesh dawned. There was no life here. That was simple, no signs of past living either. Unlike Gabriel, his skin seemed rough but at the same time, it was almost beautiful. His beard was neat; probably the neatest beard I’d laid my eyes on. Even with all this near perfection, I was still not comfortable with him being around me.

“Gabriel please, no need to be rude here,” Abaddon said with a devilish smirk on his face.

“Wait! Hold up one second here… so the both of you know each other?” I interrupted with a confused look written all over my face.

“Yeah, unfortunately, we tend to bump into each other when situations like this arise,” Gabriel said apologetically.

“Anyway, aren’t you going to jump?” Abaddon said confidently.

“Ignore him, Peter, let us have our chat. First of all, let’s pray…” Gabriel said sincerely, as he brought both his hands together.

“No! I refuse to pray, I’ve prayed for 6 months straight but God hasn’t done a thing about any of my situations. Don’t come here telling me to pray, how dare you!” I said loudly as my voice penetrated through the air.

I’ve been a Christian as long as I can remember; my mother and grandmother were both really religious so it rubbed off on me. In the past six months, my Dad has died, my son has fallen ill so money is now needed to pay for his treatment. Did I mention, I lost my job…? I could go on for hours. God was absent when I needed him the most, so as I looked at Gabriel I wanted him to see the pain I’ve endured through my eyes.

“Haha prayer! I don’t believe in that rubbish either. Come on Gabriel let this man just jump already,” Abaddon said whilst laughing.

“Wait! Gabriel, how do you know my name? I didn’t once mention it to you,” I said whilst looking at him waiting for him to slip up.

“You just remind me of someone I once knew called peter that lacked faith at one point in his life,” He said without blinking. It’s as if he came prepared for whatever I had to say.

I looked up to see if the crowd was still gathered on top of the bridge. Everyone was still there but the facial expressions on their faces seemed off. It’s as if they thought I had gone completely insane, I don’t blame them for thinking that since I was going to jump.

“So tell me Peter, when what comes to mind when I say, Jesus?”  Gabriel said to me again without blinking. I’m not sure if he thought not blinking when asking me questions would make him look any more serious that he already does.

“Here we go again with this Jesus guy yet again. Gabriel, don’t you ever give it a rest?” Abaddon snapped at Gabriel.

It was weird how these two were going at it when I’m the one who was meant to be jumping off the bridge. I felt as if it was a good cop, bad cop just like in the movies.

“Wait…Let me just answer a few of his question just to shut him up Abaddon” I said with an annoyed look on my face.

“Just assure me you’ll jump?” Abaddon asked but this time, it felt like he was demanding instead of asking me a question. For a split second, I could have sworn something about him changed but I couldn’t put my finger on it.  The atmosphere had now changed, but I couldn’t describe it either. I was left with Goosebumps.

“Yeah, Yeah whatever,” I said so he could stop glaring at me with those black eyes of his.

“Abaddon enough! Peter Continue…” Gabriel said in an ear splitting tone. Funnily enough as soon as Abaddon heard him, he instantly listened and away went that indescribable atmosphere.

“Umm! You know he saved us and all that jazz,” I said without a care in the world. All this Jesus talk just reminded me of my mum and grandmother. I started to miss them as I had not spoken to them in a long while. Knowing that after this conversation they’ll never hear from me again made me feel a way but it couldn’t be helped… I had to jump.

“Jesus? This Jesus that blah blah blah,” Abaddon said as he yawned.

“Ignore this nonbeliever, so where was I? Ah yes, Jesus, so from what you’ve just said plus your added tone of voice it’s evident what the problem is.” Gabriel said as he looked up into the sky.

“What do you mean? Are you trying to say everything that is happening is my fault?” I said aggressively but in doing so my body somehow lost a bit of balance. I felt as if I was going to slip but suddenly a heavy gust of wind blew right past me that allowed me to regain my balance.

“Your father always has to intervene doesn’t he? He is just delaying the inevitable,” Abaddon mumbled.

“Careful Peter, it’s not your time yet. What I meant by my comment was that your problem is you have no faith nor do you have any real belief in what you’ve been praying for. You are just doing it because that’s how you’ve been raised. Ask yourself this… have you really got a relationship with Christ?” Gabriel spoke.

I started to think carefully about what he was saying; he had a point that made me question myself. Could I have stopped all of the wrong doings in my life If I had real faith? Wait, no he doesn’t know the extent of my faith, he’s just delaying the inevitable.

“No disrespect but you don’t know the extent of my troubles, so I’m telling you now that in ten minutes, I will be jumping off this bridge,” I said without hesitation.

“That’s more like it, I love this,” Abaddon said as he celebrated by punching the air.

I looked down at my watch; it was 16:05pm in the afternoon. As soon as it reached 16:15pm it would be all over at last.

“Okay Peter, allow me to tell you a familiar story of when Jesus walked on water before you do what you need to do,” Gabriel said.

“Here we go again, can you make this one quick I’ve got another appointment soon,” Abaddon said in annoyance.

I myself was annoyed because I didn’t want to hear any more of his stories, but it sounded as if he had given up and accepted that I would jump so I decided to listen.

“So, I’m sure growing up in a Christian home you’ve heard of the time Jesus walked on water right?” Gabriel asked.

“Yeah,” I responded.

“Okay then, I’m also sure you heard about how his disciple Peter saw him perform this extraordinary thing, so as you know in the story peter calls out Jesus’s name. Stating if it’s really him on the water that he should call him out to see so that he too can walk on water” Gabriel said.

“Okay, I still don’t get where you’re going with this but do continue,” I said.

“Once Peter stepped out into sea he started to walk on water with faith in Jesus Christ, but then a strong wind took his focus off of Christ. Soon doubt started forming in his mind. With his faith in Christ shaken due to the roaring wind, he started to sink into the sea. As he was sinking, Peter called for Jesus’s help. Jesus immediately stretched out his hand and caught him. Gabriel said whilst using various gestures to express himself.

“I see, I see hmm,” I said, whilst thinking that he had a good point, in fact, a very good point. It was at this moment Abaddon turned to look directly at me. I didn’t turn my head to look back at him, but from the corner of my eye, I could feel those eyes of his all over me. I looked down at my watch; 5 minutes had already gone past.

“I see something I’ve said has resonated in your mind, so I’ll continue. So from this story, I have told you there are three lessons you should learn from it and apply to your own life. The first one is that we need faith; faith is a strong belief in God and trust that He will do what He said. Without faith, it’s impossible to please God. The second thing is doubt destroys faith. When Peter started to sink, Jesus said the problem was doubt. Doubt damaged Peter’s faith to the point that he couldn’t walk on water anymore. Doubt can also damage our faith. Faith is tied to the promises that God gives us. Once we start to doubt those promises, our faith starts to fail. Finally, Jesus is there when we face trials. In the midst of the waves and the wind, Jesus was with Peter and prevented him from sinking. This is a reassuring lesson that helps to boost our faith. Today Jesus Christ does not walk as a human on the earth next to us, but He is still in charge and able to give us a helping hand, whatever problems we may face,” Gabriel said, but, this time, there was something different about him. I felt like he was comforting me in a way I’ve never felt before. It felt so good.

“Hmm, there is a lot of truth in what you’ve just told me. When I think about it I gave up on God whilst my dad’s condition got worse and worse. I couldn’t understand why my prayers weren’t working but now I see why” I said submerging my face into the palm of my hands.

“It’s never too late to ask for forgiveness for our God is a forgiving and Loving God,” Gabriel said, but before he could say anything else Abaddon interrupted.

“Would you look at the time you have one minute until you jump. The Amount of lives this bridge has taken since being built brings me joy,” Abaddon said cheerfully as he stood up and stretched.

“I think I want to change my mind and not jump anymore,” I said, as I too stood up and looked right at him fearlessly.

“Too bad, you gave me your word already,” Abaddon said cheekily, then without warning he gave me a nudge and I was completely off balance. My leg slipped off of where I was standing but thankfully I managed to grab hold of a long bar with both hands. I was now dangling in the air on the bridge.

I heard a huge uproar above me, which I could only presume was were the many people on top of the bridge were watching from. I was now hanging on for dear life. Why would Abaddon do something so evil? I hope this gets him sent to jail, I thought to myself.

“Okay, so you’re still hanging on? I guess you have to actually make the jump through your own free will,” Abaddon said as he put both hands on his hips.

“Peter! Remember that our God is a forgiving and loving God, put your faith in him and you’ll get out of this and back to your family,” Gabriel said with so much passion.

“Okay, Peter listen to me I’m going to make you this one time offer. If you keep your word and jump off this bridge, I promise you that your son will get the best medical care there is to offer. I will also out of the kindness of my heart make sure your family become wealthy,” Abaddon said with a devilish look on his face.

This offer was tempting. The thought of my son and family being better off because of my death seemed all too good to turn down. That was until Gabriel’s voice played through my head. “Remember with faith there’s nothing that can’t be done,” Then I looked down to see the devastating wave’s crash against the legs of the bridge. I shut my eyes, took a deep breath in…

“Well, what is it going to be?” Abaddon said as I felt his indescribable presence surround me.

“Go away now! I refuse to kill myself, I believe and I know God will make a way for me and everything I am currently facing,” I said out loud, and then suddenly I conjured up strength from nowhere to lift myself back up to where I was before I got nudged off.  When I managed to compose myself and look around me both Abaddon and Gabriel were nowhere to be seen.

All I could hear were people shouting and cheering above me. I was totally lost; I had no idea what was going on.

“Hello sir, please grab my hand, I’m going to lift you up,” a voice said above me. I looked up; saw a man wearing a police uniform with his hand stretched out. I grabbed his hand and he pulled me back up to safety.

“You gave us all here a right old scare sir, we thought it was over,” The man said with so much relief on his face.

“Wait where are Gabriel and Abaddon?” I asked whilst looking around the bridge.

“Who are they?” the man replied.

“The two men sitting next to me, Gabriel said he worked for the San Francisco Police Department,” I said.

“Sorry sir, but you was alone out there, people saw you talking to yourself that’s about it. I have to go now but please stay here, someone will be with you right away,” the man said in a hurry.

None of this made any sense to me, but one thing I knew is that I had just made an oath to God. A few moments later I was at the back of an ambulance car being checked up on by one of the nurses. She turned to me to say…

“Excuse me, but God just told me to tell you that he’s always going to be with you. He’s glad that you fended off temptation in order not to jump off that bridge, now go to your family and rejoice with them, as you have now received Christ.” She said in a soothing voice.

Hours later, I found myself back home with my family. I explained to them what had happened. My wife revealed that she had started praying as soon as I left the house in the morning, telling God to guide me back to him. Looking back now, I see it as I was being tested. This was in a sense a spiritual education and development within myself. Yes, I stumbled and will stumble again, such as when Jesus was arrested and Peter denied knowing him. At the end, Peter was able to get back up and continue walking in faith.

“Andrew, tonight I’m going to read you something from the bible. I promise you that you’ll recover from this illness, because God never disappoints when you have complete faith in him. So here we go, Mathew chapter four verse one to eleven, then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness….”